Returning to Emotional Love


 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. 1 John 3:18

Falling in love is a temporary experience. It is not premeditated; it simply happens in the normal context of male-female relationships. What many people do not know is that it is always temporary. The average life span for being “in love” is two years.

The “in love” experience temporarily meets one’s emotional need for love. It gives us the feeling that someone cares, that someone admires and appreciates us. Our emotions soar with the thought that another person sees us as number one. For a brief time our emotional need for love is met. However, when we come down off the emotional high, we may feel empty. That’s sometimes accompanied by feelings of hurt, disappointment, or anger.

If emotional love is to return to your relationship, it will require each of you to discover and speak each other’s primary love language. As we’ve discussed, there are only five basic languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

The apostle John recounted an important truth when he wrote his first epistle: Love can be expressed in words, but it is shown to be true through our actions. Learn the language of your spouse, speak it regularly, and emotional love will return to your marriage.

Lord God, I want us to feel strong, emotional love as a couple again. Please help us reach that point by committing to loving each other by our actions, not just our words. Help us to learn each other’s love language and speak it well.